 Thinking about this year to date, it has been peppered with change and growth. Seeing the body from a new lens, experiencing my own body and movements in many new and different ways, seeing without glasses (I got Lasik!). It has revolved heavily around change and growth. Currently reporting from the next chapter of my current growth spurt here in San Diego. As I’ve built my connection both to my body, its patterns of stuckness and movement, and my psychological patterns of stuckness and movement, it has been both very challenging and incredibly rewarding. While I’m ready to understand the depth of this work and its impact on not only my life but the lives of those I’m privileged to work with, I’ll continue to patiently wait and track the changes as they occur. Isn’t that the way? Showing up, paying attention, being present with what is, rinse and repeat. I was musing this morning on a different time in my life when I really wanted to be anywhere but where I was: physically, mentally, emotionally, in all of the ways.
As I approach 40 this December I am grateful to say that I am here and happy with where here is. I see the lines on my face and the little sprigs of gray and silver sprouting and dotting the vista of my hairline and I’m grateful. Grateful for the wisdom I’ve acquired, to know that while I haven’t figured it out yet, that all of life will be layered with arrival, departure, renewal, elation, confusion, all of it. Every wave will continue to go out to sea and return to shore. Feelings will come and go and change is inevitable. Change can happen through inattention, repetition and indecision or attention, consistency and choice. As I continue to peel back each layer of my existence, this body, my psychological patterning, etc. I will continue to try to do better. To seek consistent, small changes that add up to big results that affect both myself, my family, my community and the world in a more positive way. Thank you for being apart of that community. Thank you for continuing to seek growth within yourself. Thank you for reading my thoughts and experience along the way.
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 I am stepping into this new work, Structural Integration. It doesn’t negate or make the work we’ve done together in the past unimportant, it just broadens our horizons and changes the intention and the way in which we work.
Structural Integration weaves together a strong understanding of myofascia (muscle + fascia) and the relationships which they operate within, with: assessment, intuition and collaboration. It is a beautiful system that allows us to unlock your movement patterns and bring you into a more functional home in your body. Life, and our bodies are full of challenges, getting to know yourself better can ease some of those challenges. The three series of sessions that I’m currently offering as a student are a blend of the fascial lines that will be addressed individually in the 12 series I will be offering starting in January of 2025. These 3 sessions - completed within 2-3 weeks - can be a powerful catalyst for awareness building and structural change in your body. We start with a thorough assessment and then address your fascial outer layers starting from your feet to your hips in session 1, your hips to your shoulders in session 2 and your spine from tail to top in session 3. We talk about the 1’s, 2’s and 3’s in Structural Integration. 1’s are your easy movements that you can take up in everyday life without even thinking about it - think walking maybe. 2’s are your movements that require focus, warmup and work - think squat or lunge maybe. 3’s are the movements that are unavailable to you because of pain, mobility restriction, etc. You may not have any awareness of most of your #3’s because your body just won’t move in certain ways. It will borrow flexibility from other areas and deepen your stuckness. These #3’s build and build and eventually cause great disturbance in multiple systems in your body. If you have an area that’s not moving well, it can affect your circulation, your nerves, your lymphatic system and your myofascial system. That’s a minimum of 4 systems not optimally functioning. Wouldn’t you like to be operating from the best place you could be? Let’s talk about some A’s B’s and C’s of who’s ready for SI. Some of you may not be ready for this work yet for any number of reasons. Global inflammation is a contraindication, we can’t ask your body to make big structural changes while it’s already fighting a battle. That might look like a nutrition referral for you. Address the inflammation and then we can work together. You might not currently have the energy to undertake this kind of work. What is your life like? Are you already overextended? Not a good idea to take on this type of work. Are you dealing with a heavy emotional burden currently? Are you abusing substances? That might mean you need to undertake some mental health counseling before or concurrently with our work. Do you have a consistent movement practice or are you willing to undertake one? If not, your fascia will matte right back up into a giant fuzz like it already might be. This is a collaborative process that requires effort and engagement from you on all levels. Are you ready? I am ready to help you step out of the dysfunctional patterning you may find yourself in. Honestly, you might not even know it’s there. I wasn’t aware of some of my own limitations, we’re human. If you think you’re ready, reach out and let’s talk. Let’s grow together.  Anatomy Trains Structural Integration Training Part I. San Diego was 3 weeks in a different life. Stripped of home, husband, puppies, routines, comforts, all of it. Heading out there I had every intention of maximizing every moment with my friend and colleague, Rachel Graham. We had a lot of mobility content we wanted to film, conversations to capture, many plans. However, on the way out there, I messaged and let her know that I was in a precarious way. I was feeling the exhaustion of completing a big project and working long hours prior to leaving. She was, too. I asked if we could just make sure we ate good food and moved our bodies daily for the first week. That ended up being our strategy for the entire trip. We did it! We cooked good food and we moved our bodies everyday, in addition to our 8 hour immersion style school days. It was a win. Every day was an opportunity to see if I could really take care of myself. We also got to spend time in nature on the weekends, La Jolla tide pools, safari park adventures, and more.
I was known at school as the hydrator, my commitment to my gallon of water never ceased. At the end of every day we sorted through what we affectionately called “brain pho” and tried to differentiate the gobs of material we’d covered. We’re still doing that, actually. We’re studying weekly until we return for part 2 of this training at the end of April. Learning with a small group of curious individuals with diverse backgrounds and histories can be a life changing experience. It certainly has been for us. I actually met my good friend Rachel at a fascial stretch training in Arizona. We clicked on all the levels. We joke that some people meet us at different corners or intersections of our lives, careers, humor, etc. We meet each other at all of them. It’s a pretty rare find. We spent 3 weeks in an airbnb happily coexisting and cohabitating with lots of laughter and nary a spat. Well, maybe there was the one about olives on nachos. That’s a no for me. Every class day started with some movement, maybe it was meditative, maybe it was playful. It was always intentional and connected to the concepts we were going to cover that day. Maybe it was connecting with another person, back to back, and seeing what surfaces would connect and which ones wouldn’t. One day it was rolling around on the ground trying to recreate movement by following where your eyes took you, like a baby might. One day it was a ruckus dance party, another a smooth set of spinal opening waves. It was thought provoking, fun, magnetic, lovely. So inspiring to be in a space where movement snacks are a curated part of the learning experience. Each day we sunk our teeth deep into anatomical and movement related topics. The relationships of the bones of the feet and the compartments of the lower leg, the fans of the hips, the pelvis and ribcage relationships. Everything is connected, but we sifted through those connections with a fine toothed comb to make more sense of them. So that when we say “everything is connected” we can think through what is connected to a particular issue in a grounded and scientific way. There is still plenty of unknown and magical mystical parts of bodies and bodywork, but the approach here is to ground our treatments with knowledge, assessment and movement to ensure that we’re helping our clients in the most effective way possible. Many times an area might be getting all of your attention, and the problem isn’t there. So instead of pressing deeply into an area that is likely not the culprit, we can hopefully help your body reposition to a more functional state. As we journeyed through the entire body Ms. Frizzle style (hope you’re old enough to have watched the magic school bus), we gained a deeper understanding of our own bodies and movement patterns. This new understanding and deeper excavation of things held, both emotional and physical, had a very powerful effect on me. It helped me assess some current movement practices I had that weren’t serving me anymore, some rigidly held ideals I was clinging to that weren’t really mine. Another layer peeled back. Each time this happens it’s scary. You think you feel so secure in what you're doing and how you’re doing it, only to continually realize the impermanence of everything. It’s a pretty great place to be. At the end of 3 weeks, I had let go of some patterning in my shoulder and my abdominals that opened me up to exponentially more freedom of movement in my body. Not only that but I also got to experience some of the discomfort that comes with powerful structural change. For all of it, I am grateful. It was very challenging, I was out of my comfort zone in all the ways and movement felt very different. My experience of myself and who I thought I was changed immensely. I’m still sorting through it. Moving forward to part 2 of this powerful program April 22-May 5. I will be looking to treat 16 individuals with the ATSI 3-Session Series. This series of sessions begins with BodyReading postural assessment, and then techniques for balancing the pelvis, the shoulder girdle, and the spine. The 3 series of structural integration is a great introduction to structural bodywork, and clients often report improvement in posture, breathing, movement, energy, and improved body awareness. Please reach out if you would like to work through a 3 series with me starting mid May!  One of the MOST frequently asked questions is, “How often should I come in?” Now, while I still believe there is a very personal and individual answer for each unique human, let’s delve into some guidelines that may help. I harp on this concept of “attunement”. Getting to know yourself and what exactly it is you need. We are all in a different place on that journey and it can be hard to know what you need at times. Times when you are grieving, depressed, anxious, these are times when it’s helpful to have an idea of what your frequency could be to aid as a coping strategy in your recovery. I generally have an idea of what my frequency should be when it comes to all of the forms of bodywork/recovery I participate in, but have created a bare minimum standard that keeps me in line with my priorities that can serve me when I’m not sure or don’t know what I need as well. I started receiving a somewhat regular massage around 12 years ago. Initially I was your classic “wait till everything hurts and I feel like I might die” client. There is no judgment for that version of Tiffany or for you if this resonates. I share this to explain that a 60/90 minute session would provide me with some relief, but soon after I would feel very similarly. I wasn’t taking good care of my body and was expecting a massage every few months to bring me back to life. That was unrealistic. While the massage was helpful, I was operating from lack and deficit and one session every so often was not enough to keep my body in the shape I wanted to operate from. At the time, I was walking dogs, practicing yoga and kickboxing and cycling several times a week. I was taking a LOT out of the tank and not putting enough back in. Many of us operate from a standpoint that our bodies are separate from us, especially with language like “my body is attacking me”, “why is this happening to my body”, “it just happened overnight”. These feelings are valid, but as it turns out, our body and brain and spirit are a fully integrated unit. Sometimes there is some disharmony in that unit. It can be helpful to shift that perspective to “what does my body need to feel harmony?”. This kind of shift usually doesn’t happen overnight. For me, it was a combination of consistent therapy and bodywork that created an enormous shift in my outlook and my body and my awareness of what I needed to succeed. I never thought that at almost 40 I would be seeking to be a professional pickleball athlete, but life has served me an opportunity and here we are. I’ve always loved pickles, so why not? Bodywork is not best served a la carte. What I mean by that is what you do at home is of ultimate importance as well. Learning where your problem areas are through bodywork and addressing them with your own activity practices is the ultimate path to healing and thriving. For me this has taken a vast combination of therapies: chiropractic, massage, stretch, physical therapy, acupuncture, dry needling, yoga, pilates, weightlifting, boxing. So. Many. Things. My sense of self and what I need has led me to this diverse array of activities and recovery. Your journey could be completely different, but being open to and curious about what you need is the key ingredient.  So, what does all the above mean? I really want you to work toward knowing what you need and when. It is so empowering to know and trust yourself about your body. You will always know more about yourself than I do, period. This blog is meant to guide you if you are at the beginning of your journey, at the middle, or just want some practical guidance on frequency and timing to consider. If you are in a high stress environment I recommend a frequency of 2-4 sessions a month. Examples of a high stress environment include: a high stress job, grieving, loss, recovery from injury, experiencing chronic pain, experiencing a musculoskeletal condition, an athlete, experiencing high level anxiety or depression, or any combination of the above (cuz we complicated humans). I wouldn’t recommend anything that I myself don’t participate in. I receive weekly massage, biweekly stretch, biweekly acupuncture and monthly therapy. Is that expensive? You bet. I have come to the conclusion that I am my best investment. My health and well being matter to me more than an extra vacation, remodel of my house, eating out, a fancy car. These are my financial priorities based on my values. You have to decide what yours are and what you value most. If you are in a lower stress environment I recommend a minimum of 1 session a month. This can help you understand what your problem areas are and can provide you with the fantastic benefits of improved circulation, sleep, mobility, clarity, connection to self. Many times my monthly clients, heck, even my weekly clients will say “I had no idea that was tender” in reference to an area we are working. This is a great way to learn what your movement patterns are and where you need to focus your own energies and practices. Where we feel pain is rarely the area where the pain or dysfunction originates. If you are unable to afford even a monthly session, then budget a bimonthly session. Having some sense of predictability and scheduled recovery is really impactful for your body and brain. Time gets away from us and we go 6 months, 1 year, even longer sometimes between care. This can create frustration and shame and a slew of other feelings about our bodies. How much time do I need? This is also a question I field frequently. My recommendation for timing is as follows:
If you ever have any questions about your frequency or how much time you might need, just reach out! I’m here to help be your guide as you grow in your relationship with yourself!  You open your eyes and your body jolts with excitement. You throw your toothbrush in your kit and you kiss your puppies, hairless puppies (kids) or lizards or whatever creatures you may have and you’re off. Maybe you’re in the back of the plane, maybe you sprung for first class, it doesn’t matter: it’s vacation baby. That time when you get to do all the things you want to do when you want to do them. Maybe you’re a planner, maybe every moment is accounted for. Maybe you are a “themer”, you have a plan-lite with ideas of how you want the trip to go. Maybe you just straight up wing it, knowing you will have a good time no matter what happens. Perhaps you are a combo of all three. It doesn’t matter how you do vacation, whatever floats your time off boat, hell yeah, get it! We went to Kitchener, Ontario this summer, a town near Toronto, Ontario in maple-y delicious Canada! It was magical. We had a theme, “water features”, and boy did we water feature. I like to move and do activities on vacation but also rest and recover. My good friend and colleague, Rachel Graham, hosted us and took us on a magical adventure of her province, it was simply providential. We kayak/floated the Grand River nearby to Kitchener, got soaked on the “maid of the mist” at Niagara Falls (the Canadian side is indeed prettier), visited Lake Ontario, Huron and Erie, and even drank water everyday. In addition to the glorious water features and a completely new experience of being kissed by the sun instead of horse whipped, we lifted weights every morning at her gym, hiked in the forest, played pickleball, did a mobility class in a gorgeous park, experienced a food tour in Toronto, met some of her family and friends and ate some delicious foods. It was a perfectly balanced vacation for me. I got to do all the things that I love while also trying new things and having ample time for recovery. I never felt rushed and had such a wonderful time with Chris, Rachel and all the Canadians we came across.   In addition, during a traffic-filled moment that could’ve had us annoyed and stressed, we enjoyed some fun Canadian wildlife and also birthed our recent social media project - “Reconsider this Corner”. We took a challenge and made it an opportunity to discuss concepts that matter to us and why they should matter to you. What a gift! Needless to say, it was hard to say goodbye and come home, even though I love my life and work and activities in Texas.  Since I was a child I have had what I call the “post vacation bluesies”. I can vividly remember crying at the pool when I was 8 years old after coming home from a fun visit with a friend one summer. Some folks get these, some do not. Some people come back from vacation ready to hit it and get back into their routines. For me, returning has always had a tinge of sadness and even a touch of depression. However, over time, I have learned what can help me personally when I come back home. My vacation/post vacation strategies are fairly simple, but I’ve discovered they really help me not to derail. Rachel and I talked about “attuning to yourself” in one of our recent - reconsider this corner - posts on Instagram. What we mean by that is learning about yourself, knowing what you need and when. It’s a lifelong journey and ever changing, just like we are. It can be rewarding and even fun to do this. Instead of feeling like a victim to your circumstances you can learn how to help yourself by knowing what you’ll need, sometimes in advance! So, what do I do? I model my vacations similarly to my home life in some way and entirely differently in others. I don’t schedule anything. My life is very structured, planned and scheduled at home, and I love the break from that. I wake up every morning, spend 10 or so minutes seeing how I feel and then start making decisions with myself, partner and whoever I’m traveling with on what the day could hold. I’m flexible if things need to shift and stay open for fun that can spontaneously happen. You may like to lay about on vacation, that is totally up to each individual, and laying is nice! For my mental health, I love doing something hard, especially in the morning, to get my day started off. Travel days are my body rest days and the rest, I like to move and groove. Sometimes in similar ways that I move at home, but I like to change it up in some kind of way. Try a new gym, try a new class, challenge myself or take it easy depending on the day. Secondly, I limit my drinking to a day or two and I don’t overdo it. I’ve found that alcohol can really derail my mood if I overdo it, and I want to be able to enjoy my vacation. By limiting my alcohol intake to the middle days of a vacation, I give my body a chance to recover from the travel before increasing the load of toxins it has to process. The same goes for the back end. I don’t drink in the few days leading up to my return so my body can again reset before travel and be ready to return to my at home routine. I choose mostly similar foods to my normal diet and have a few things out of the normal so as not to shock my system too intensely. I discovered that feasting also has a big impact on my mental health and makes me feel sluggish and sad. I limit the fun choices so I can feel good and do all the things I want to do.  These are my strategies that help me keep my balance on vacay and also ensure a smoother, less blues-y return to home. I also pre-plan self care for my return. The day after I get back I get a massage and adjustment to help workout the travel kinks and whatever new patterns emerge from different styles of activity. This also helps prepare me for my return to work by enhancing my sleep, my bodies ability to recover and grounding me. I ease back into my life by reducing my workout schedule a bit that first week back, maybe I lift slightly less weight, or spend 1 day less at the gym. Whatever feels right. By planning for it, I mentally don’t view the lessened schedule as a failure, but as a planned easing back in. How you view things makes a huge difference in how your body responds to them. You can feel peaceful and at ease knowing it was part of your plan. Now, all of these things said, some of this might work for you or none of this might work for you. I am simply sharing my experience as a potential format for how you can think about what does/doesn’t work for you when it comes to vacation and returning to your life. Please enjoy the Canadian photo dump! Happy end of Summering friends (or if you live in Texas like me, happy next 3 extra months of Summering).      What is recovery? I call it coming home. Checking in and giving our bodies (the only house we get in this lifetime) what they need to be functioning well and with ease. What creates the need for recovery? Daily life, hard exercise, lack of exercise, stress, work. You get the picture! Do you already exercise? Great! You still need recovery! Recovery helps keep us mobile so we can do all the things we love. Mobility is the intersection of strength and flexibility. We need strong and supple muscles to help us have good range of motion and healthy joints! Let’s explore some types of recovery that can help us get where we want to go in our bodies with ease.  Types: Passive - massage, fascial stretch (fascia = the connective tissue that surrounds everything in our bodies - muscles, organs, you name it), chiropractic, acupuncture, oil treatments, compression therapy, infrared sauna, facials. These passive recoveries have different levels of efficacy based on what your goals are. Say you are having muscle pain, a facial might not be your top choice. It can create a high level of relaxation in your body if you’re feeling anxious or high levels of stress, though. Active - walking, cycling, certain types of yoga: yin, restorative, nidra or irest, swimming, pickling. When I talk about these forms of exercise above as active recovery, I’m referring to an easy pace that keeps your heart rate low and promotes blood flow. Not an all out bike ride up giant hills or a fast, competitive swim, etc.  When and why? What are your daily activities and responsibilities? Are you an athlete? A working mom? A desk jockey? A combo of all three and then some? We need to consistently move our bodies in ways to combat flexion (sitting and internally rotated in the upper body) - our near constant state when working any job. We also need to consider that we need to be training our hearts (cardio), our muscles (strength) and working on our mobility (joint range of motion) and balance throughout our lives. Does this feel like A LOT? Well, it is. Many of us go through life not really thinking about our bodies and expecting them to jump and do whatever it is we want from them at a moment's notice. We need to care for, cultivate and train our bodies so that we’re ready for the hard and fun stuff when it comes along. I love that I can roll around with my niece and nephew on the floor, beat them in foot races and teach them yoga. I’m the faunty (or fun aunt as one of my clients so aptly named herself). I love being able to run around on the pickle ball court for 5 hours if I want, or go for a run, or climb up aerial silks. These are the gifts of a lot of hard work and training that have prepared my body to move well and with ease. I want for you to experience that ease as well. It takes hard work, commitment and showing up for yourself consistently. You will be amazed at how good you can feel and how ready you will be to tackle any challenge if you give your body what it needs to properly recover.  My typical recovery buffet: I participate in some form of recovery every single day. Most days I have active recovery on the menu and 3-4x a week I engage in some type of passive or nearly passive recovery. Active
These types of movements and therapies are part of the picture, the other key building blocks are adequate and restful sleep, proper hydration (water and electrolytes), and nourishing foods that help repair your muscles and set you up to keep at it! If you have questions about proper nutrition or are wanting to get into a movement plan but don’t know where to start, I have some great resources on my website to help you with those things. I am at Urban Hippie to help you with your soft tissue (muscles, fascia, joint capsule) whenever you need me! I understand that we all have different time commitments based on our work and family life, etc., but I challenge you to reprioritize some of your time for your own upkeep. You will never regret taking care of yourself. Instead of chasing pain and feeling at odds with your body, make the choice to care for and connect with your body in a curious way and give yourself the dedication and consistency needed to move and live with ease. It’s been a real year. Tons of things to be grateful for, some heavy grief and a lot of perspective. Focusing on what you're grateful for can help you when you’re sad or grieving. Sometimes it does, and others it just doesn’t. Sometimes you’re so fucking sad that all you can do is just be sad. That’s okay. It feels scary, though. Like if I allow myself this much sadness, will I just live in sad? Will my sad aunt just hang around forever? I say “sad aunt” because I think about my emotions like relatives stopping in. Who knows how long they’re going to stay, but I try to be hospitable, offer them space, a drink and a place to be cozy, felt, heard, lived and understood till they’re ready to leave.  One of the hardest parts for me about truly being with grief, myself, and emotions, is facing those parts of myself, those shadow-y bits, the parts that I struggle to love. When we are happy and regulated and in a good space it’s easier to be all that we are and not focus solely on the harder or more difficult parts of ourselves to love. I also never learned how to share my grief in community. How do I be sad and not affect others, but also still be with them? Sadness tends to make me isolate myself which then leads to depression. It can be a vicious cycle. I found out that a friend passed away in August. She was larger than life, she truly LIVED. I found out while I was in Mexico and I danced the night away and jumped in the ocean in her honor. In the following weeks/2 months I slept, alot. I couldn’t seem to get enough rest. I slowed down on movement and activities and I cried most days. I cried for my friend's early flight from earth, for the family and friends she left behind and the unfairness of a life cut short. Her death stopped me in my tracks. I was toodling along thinking I had lots of shit together, but sometimes life checks you, right in the gut, and lets you know you have work left to do (always,right?). During this time of sadness, I began to reevaluate what I was doing and how I wanted to live. How did I keep finding myself in positions where I was living to work, missing the moments that matter and letting myself slowly sink to last place on my list. Whether it was movement, nutrition, rest, time alone and or in nature, my work generally starts to creep into first place. I finally realized I don’t want to be “the busiest”, the martyr that misses out because I’m standing in my own way. So I made some changes, I cut out some things I was just doing to do and made space for more connection, more community, more time with the people I love.  During that time I also upped my therapy, gave myself some tasks like daily movement for 20 minutes, water, food, sun, my non negotiables to help me heal. I also began a gratitude practice after the first few weeks of deep sad began to fade. When I was walking my dogs, or driving to work or mowing my lawn I just started to list everything I was grateful for. These ruminations started to expand and I began to really think about the whys around my gratitude, with that I started to grow in my ability to express to those I love, why I love them and how much - including myself - even the shadow-y, unsavory bits.
During this season, there are lots of things to have gratitude for, but there are also reasons to grieve. Relationships that are over, loved ones that have passed, human rights that are unavailable, the list goes on. I hope you’re able to experience the duality of both, the gratitude and the grief. Love to you all. I’ve just returned from what I call “love and light healing camp for adults”, aka fascial stretch therapy training. The thing about this training, it’s not just the information you discover and the knowledge you build, it’s the community, the connections, the teaching style and the bodywork that TRULY set FST apart. Prior to heading out for the training there are prerequisite requirements to fulfill. There are 2 books to read, dozens of learning modules to complete, 10 hours of videos to watch and a 100 question test to take before you land in beautiful Phoenix, AZ. I can say beautiful this time because the weather was absolutely lovely. Mid October compared to early September, casual 40 degree difference. Last year was a little different. Last year I didn’t get to enjoy the glorious long walks and outdoor pickleball in the evenings like I did this year. I met many fabulous people, but 2 in particular who stirred my soul and made me really happy to be alive and doing what I’m doing. This training has launched my passion for the human experience in our bodies to an entirely different level, LEVEL 2! So, the Fredericks, who founded this amazing technique say that level 1 is restorative and level 2 is corrective. What that means to me and you…. Level 1 creates safety and more opening in your neuromyofascia. What’s that? That’s the webby connective tissue that surrounds your muscle and is affected by hydration, movement, stress, emotion, and many other variables. Level 2 is corrective. What that means is the space that we’re creating is longer lasting, the work within the joint space is deeper and more impactful in a more long term way. We are making space for you to function at your best. One of my favorite aspects about this work is that unlike many other forms of body work, this is collaborative. I am not performing something at or on or to you, this work is done in a connected way, we work together. Your trust and breath create the space to increase mobility. It is truly earth shattering. In my first weightlifting session post training this morning my trainer and I were both blown away by the increase in my range of motion in my squat and my assisted pull up. These are 2 very functional movements that I have been working (and will continue to work) to improve. I am able to access and recruit my muscles in a deeper way due to all the space created while I was at training. This training is unlike any other because the founders of the technique still teach their trainings. I get to feel their hands and they feel mine and give very individualized feedback. This is unlike anything else, the gift of their presence and feedback is so incredibly valuable. I told them that I will be teaching at the school within 5 years. I am in awe of this program and so grateful to be connected. If you’re interested to learn more, visit the “book” section of my website and click on stretch to learn more. Also, feel free to drop any questions in the comments!  Self care can take many forms. Some say it’s bubble baths and mani/pedis, others say it’s a high intensity workout, maybe one person thinks it’s taking time off and the next thinks it’s building small moments of rest into each day. I agree with all of these someones. Self care: like nutrition, movement, and spirituality, is very personal. Each person has to find their mix. Their combination of flavors that hits just right for them. Just like some people live for spicy foods (it me), others may be completely turned off by the sweet heat. The journey to finding your mix is just that. A journey that continues your whole life. Things change, you change, life is in constant flux. The way I see it, you find a mix that works for you and then the task is calibration. We recalibrate our whole lives, but it’s nice to have a base, or a selection of activities, that make you feel at home in your own skin. This is my hope for those I work with, that you find your mix that brings you back home to you. Recently, I was dealing with grief. A friend died, much too young, and it threw my world off its orbit. That grief provided some clarity and helped me recalibrate my activities, self care, movement, work, etc. After a time of prioritizing rest I was able to recalibrate based on a new vision of life, its brevity, and how I want to live.  An idea I constantly revisit is the concept of paramita - a Sanskrit word that translates several different ways. Donald Lopez, a professor of buddhist and tibetan studies, states:
What does all this ^ mean? I see it as an interesting idea that perfection means continuing on. We travel in our little life canoe from shore to shore and we turn it around and go again. All of our experiences and healing and awakening comes from the continuation of our life’s work, or living. The refinement of continuing to be imperfect as we surrender and practice this thing we call life. This helps me when I feel overwhelmed by all the choices, options and resources, or lack thereof we all sometimes experience in life.  My Self Care Mix: These are things I do at different rhythms, some daily, some weekly, some monthly. I take a step back every few months and evaluate the things I’m doing. What’s working? What’s not? What do I feel I need more or less of in this season? Self reflection and evaluation are important pieces of my self care puzzle. As a survivor of complex trauma I require a great deal of self care/personal time to recharge my energy. I used to be frustrated by this, but embracing it has been a game changer. I’m now really enjoying the process of keeping myself well, vs. constantly bemoaning the work and consistency it takes for me to do so. I’ve separated my list into what costs money and what does not, both columns are incredibly important to me. Even though there is a “no money” column, it still takes resources, time, energy, etc.
Self Care is the adding up of all of the small and large choices we make throughout our days, weeks and months to truly take care of ourselves. A big piece of this puzzle is how we see ourselves, and what kind of value we believe we have. For a long time I did not take care of myself in a meaningful way because I didn’t believe I deserved it. We all deserve it. We all were born deserving of the care we usually extend to others before ourselves. We are the ones we’ve been waiting for, no one else will take care of you the way you can take care of you. I hope you are inspired to check out your own mix and look at your own choices when it comes to caring for yourself. Find your self care combination and focus on the positive things you can do, where you’re at, to support you in your journey.
Would love to know what you do to take care of you. Drop in the comments if you want to share! TW - trauma and eating disorder My introduction to movement started when I was young. I am grateful, as I know some have no starting point or modeling with movement at all. I saw my parents engage in a very punishing relationship with diet and exercise. It was cyclical. There were spurts of heavy and frequent movement with a focus on intensity, caloric burn and punishment of their bodies. A lazy body, a body that was “tired of being tired”, there was excessive negative self talk. It was an 80’s style nordic track in the bedroom, it was Calanetics, a pretty comical exercise video with an instructor with a mix of british + australian accents whose favorite tagline was “tighten the behind, tip the pelvis, let’s work that nice round peach”. We peeped from behind the couch and tried to mimic the moves we saw our parents doing. We rode our bikes around the neighborhood, we played hockey in the street and we all played some type of highschool sport, even if we weren’t that great (it me, I wasn’t great but I sure did have fun). I began my own punishing relationship with movement when I was in 8th grade in 1998 and it ended in August of 2020. Everyone’s upbringing shaped our relationships with most things. Movement, food, money, other people, lovers, kids, all of it. It’s part of our journey as adults to disentangle what we vicariously inherited through experience/modeling and figure out what feels right, what feels good and achievable for us. Some have no experience with movement as children. I’m grateful for the visuals and for the importance my parents put into their movement journey, but I had to leave behind the idea that my body was meant to be punished, because it’s simply not true. You can push yourself to greater achievement, if that is your goal, but hatred, dislike and disdain are poor companions on that journey. What I remember from all of my young activities that still holds true today. I like interesting movements, I enjoy complex movements that activate my brain and body. I like varied intensity, and I love moving with other people. I am a group mover. I do enjoy some solo exercise, but predominantly I work best when sharing the energy with others.  Trauma is insidious. It manifests and creeps and entangles us in many ways until we give it the attention, the space, and whatever it is that we personally need to heal. I personally re-lived a vicious cycle with punishing exercise and an eating disorder for the better part of 20 years. Throughout those years I continued that cycle of seeking high intensity, punishing movement that made me want to puke. Fun! Now, I’m not here to demonize HIIT, running, heart rate intense activity. These types of activities can be very healthful and even delightful. I am simply relating that for a long time, I sought these activities with a mindset of “punishment”. The harder, the better, “no pain, no gain”, this was my mindset. I’ve tried so many activities. From spin to step aerobics to muay thai to triathlon. All with the intent of punishing the shame and confusion from my cells. It didn’t work. What I did create was a lot of patterning that I’m still working to untangle today. Now, I don’t see it so much as a problem or a job to move and disentangle, but more of a gift. I get to move daily and give myself love in the process. This is a novel experience for me. Throughout the many years of punishment movement I also compounded and solidified some pretty intense disassociation with parts of my body. I had a really high pain tolerance, a.k.a I was so not present in my body that I could walk on a broken foot for a few weeks or “push through” when my body was giving me so many signs that it needed rest or to stop whatever activity I was doing. I have had to train and work to understand/appreciate the sensations and signals my body is communicating with me with regard to movement, work, sleep, everything. So, August, 2020; I made a deal with myself. Move my body once a week. Whether that was walking my doggies around the block or doing dance laps in my house (which I actually did when I was recovering from being sick), move your body in some type of way at least once a week. I recommitted to a regular movement practice. One that could gracefully ebb and flow as my energy waxes and wanes. Even tuning into the way my body works as a woman to harness the power of the moon is a part of the work I am currently doing. All of this to establish a loving relationship with this beautiful body, the only house I get on this earth. We think of ourselves as separate from our bodies. There is so much language around this concept. “My body betrayed me.” “My body wouldn’t do what I wanted.” It goes on and on. When truly, our consciousness, our brain, it’s all connected inside this house. We hyper fixate on our outward expression of being a body instead of marveling at the amazing capacity and resilience of our bodies to live, day in and day out, through the stress, the beatings, the harmful words we speak over ourselves. That journey started with once a week, and pretty soon, twice a week and now I’m moving every day, for me, in some type of way. Some of those days are gentle yoga, really opening up joint spaces and moving in twisting patterns in ways my body doesn’t typically move in the work I do. Sometimes it’s lifting heavy weights or trying something new like spin class or jiu jitsu. Sometimes it looks like stealing away for a walk without my puppies. Mostly I walk with them, though. I’ve found that I truly do best when moving with others. My solo movement is generally to clear my head or change my perspective, which is very much needed but generally not as focused and in my body as other types of movement I do. I challenge myself to try one new thing per month. It keeps things exciting and challenges my mind as well my body.  You might think to yourself - She moves all day as a massage and stretch therapist, and when she teaches movement. Yes, that’s true. However, that movement is for others, I am focused on proper body mechanics, but the movement is not for me or about me. So I still move, sometimes multiple times a day, for myself. It is such a gift to be able to move and I’m still learning and titrating the movements I do to balance them with recovery and rest, which are incredibly important pieces of the puzzle as well.
My movement buffet now includes:
Your own movement journey, agreements, approaches, likes and dislikes may be vastly different than mine, and that’s great! My recipe and journey are unique to me just like yours are to you. I am merely sharing my experience here to let you know that your own journey is valid, too. Your ups, your downs, your agreements (inherited or founded by you), all of those pieces are wildly individual. I want you to find what lights you up, whether that’s water zumba or hopscotch or pick up lacrosse. The world is your movement oyster, go play! And invite me, haha! I will try anything at least once. |
AuthorTiffany Miller Archives
October 2024
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